For reasons still unclear to us, grief is a very taboo topic to talk about. We as a society are not comfortable sitting with our own hard feelings, let alone taking time to understand the feelings of others. Because of this, there are many myths surrounding grief that can be harmful and prevent people from properly coping with their loss.
Some common myths include:
Time heals all wounds: While time can certainly help ease the pain of grief, it does not necessarily "heal" it completely. It ebbs and flows. Grief is a unique and personal process that varies from person to person, and it can take much longer than expected to come to terms with a loss.
Grief follows a predictable timeline: There is no "right" way to grieve, and as we always say grief isn't linear. People may experience different stages of grief at different times and in different ways. Hell, you can experience multiple stages of grief at once.
Grief is something to "get over": Ugh. Just plain false. Grief is not something that can be simply "gotten over." It is a natural response to loss, and it may take time to adjust to life without the person who has died.
Grief is a sign of weakness: Quite the opposite. It's a sign of having loved. Grief is a natural and healthy response to loss. It is important to allow oneself to experience the emotions and feelings that come with grief, and to seek support from others if needed.
Grief is only experienced after the death of a loved one: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! Grief can be experienced after any type of loss, including the end of a relationship, a job loss, or the diagnosis of a serious illness.
Moving on means forgetting: Moving forward does not mean forgetting the person who has died. It is possible to cherish the memories of a loved one while also finding ways to live a fulfilling life after their death.
We truly believe that if more people in this world understood grief as a whole the world would be a better place. So often feelings related to grief are encouraged to be pushed aside in favor of being strong and productive. More often than not that practice actually leads to anger, resentment, and lashing out at inopportune times. It is important to recognize and dispel the myths surrounding grief. Time alone does not heal all wounds, and there is no predictable timeline or "right" way to grieve. Grief is a natural and healthy response to loss, and it is not a sign of weakness. It can be experienced after any type of loss and moving forward does not mean forgetting the person who has passed away. By understanding the reality of grief, we can better support ourselves and others through the grieving process.